Imperfect
by Gallifreyan Annihilator
Summary: Hakuba Saguru loves Kuroba Kaito. Kudo Shinichi is in love with Kaitou KID. Not everybody gets a happy ending. /HakuKai, for Appiruzu/


**Summary:** Hakuba Saguru loves Kuroba Kaito. Kudo Shinichi is in love with Kaitou KID. Not everybody gets a happy ending. /HakuKai, for Appiruzu/

 **GA:** I actually don't like dealing with unrequited feelings, because it makes me sick to my stomach and generally too upset to write, but I know Appi wanted a fic where "Shinichi loses to Hakuba for once" (her words, almost exactly), so I just had to deliver. I hope this lives up to your expectations, Appiru.

Before anybody says anything, this isn't a KaiShin bashing fic. If you haven't noticed, I write _extensively_ in most pairings, including both HakuKai and KaiShin. This was just something I had the inspiration for, and I decided I liked it enough to publish it.

Enjoy!

* * *

 **IMPERFECT**

* * *

"Hakuba-san." Hakuba Saguru shouldn't have been as surprised as he was to hear the familiar voice behind him, turning around to face Kudo Shinichi. They were only two of the many members of the task force filtering through the exhibition hall, all present to protect a jewel-encrusted crown known as the _Beauty's Glitter._ "here to catch KID?"

"Of course." The slight smirk that graced Shinichi's face irritated the British detective, but it wasn't like he could tell him off in front of the rest of the task force. Kudo Shinichi was an esteemed consultant, in the eyes of literally everybody else except Saguru and Nakamori-keibu, and Saguru was expected to treat him as such. "And I assume you are, as well. Although I still don't understand why you're wasting your time with a thief when you mainly work homicide."

Shinichi's smirk softened slightly, looking almost _genuine_ , and Hakuba had to compose himself before his neutral frown morphed into a small scowl. "What can I say? KID's just that magnetizing." Oh gods, he wanted to puke.

It should have come as no surprise that Shinichi was attracted to Kaito - _KID_ , Saguru reminded himself, as if there was a difference - considering how charismatic the thief could be. Sure, he had fangirls, both as a criminal and a civilian, so it made sense that a detective such as Kudo could fall for him, too. But the rationality didn't help Saguru overcome the churning in his stomach. Did he feel threatened? Perhaps, but, in his humble opinion, it was justified.

Before Saguru could say anything in retaliation, however, the lights flickered out, followed shortly by a spotlight directed straight at Nakamori-keibu. "Ladies and gentleman," a disembodied voice filled the hall, "featuring the clown-" Hakuba resisted the urge to snort at the incensed look that crossed Nakamori-keibu's face as the light swiveled to land on the target's case, with a certain phantom thief sitting atop it, "-and the crown. Are you ready? It's showtime!"

The lights flew on, temporarily blinding both detectives, and by the time they were able to blink the light spots from their eyes, KID was gone- along with the _Beauty's Glitter_. A flash of white appeared in the corner of Saguru's eye, and he turned half a second after Shinichi, turning on his feet moments after the Heisei Holmes. As the Task Force bumbled around, trying to be productive and failing marvelously, the two detectives began their ascent towards the roof; there was only one place, after all, where KID consistently showed up.

"Hakuba-san, you're only going to get in the way," Shinichi said over his shoulder, eyes flicking from in front of him to Saguru. "You know he's expecting both of us. It would be easier if only one of us showed up, trick him into thinking there's an ambush."

Saguru wasn't an idiot, he could see through Shinichi as though he were water, and perhaps that was why he was all the more irritated. It felt as though Shinichi wasn't even _trying_ to hide his intentions from the other. "Useless," he replied finally. "KID is smarter than that. We could at least have a chance to overpower him if there's two of us."

Shinichi was silent, not replying for a few more seconds. Finally, "Fine." Saguru sighed in relief, and slowed to a stop as they reached the rooftop escape. Shinichi pressed a finger to his lips before kicking the door open, and the two ran out onto the roof, expecting a white-clad phantom to be waiting for him.

"You're late."

The only thing brighter than KID's clothes was his smile as he stared down the two detectives, perched precariously on the railing separating the roof from the cloudy sky. The moon was covered by clouds, and yet he stood out brilliantly against the manmade city lights. " _Meitantei, tantei-san._ What's your next move? You know I've already won." A cloud of smoke puffed around his hand, and when it dissipated, the crown was revealed, dangling carelessly between KID's fingers. "Think you can catch me?"

Shinichi held back, but Saguru took a few steps forward, knowing full well that KID had the upper hand. At that point, the only redeeming action would be to retrieve the crown. "Hakuba-san," Shinichi called out, hesitating slightly, but Saguru barely spared him a glance, and thus didn't see the way Shinichi adjusted his watch, aiming the crosshairs at Saguru's neck.

"What is it _now?_ "

"Sorry."

Hakuba turned around, surprised, but before he could say another word, Shinichi pressed the trigger. Silently, the tranquilizer found its mark, and just as silently, Saguru began to crumple. Shinichi wasn't a _complete_ jerk, and he reached forward to catch the British detective, settling him carefully against the wall.

The wind blew against KID, and so Shinichi didn't hear the low growl that tore from his throat upon watching the scene. Still, the thief didn't move, feigning neutrality, and didn't address Shinichi, either, until his focus was back on him. " _Meitantei_ , that was a bold move. Are you so confident as to be able to catch me yourself?"

The look Shinichi levelled him with was...not what KID had been expecting. It was serious, but not dark; intent, but not haughty. "You know why I'm here, KID."

"I actually don't." The truth, and Shinichi shifted in surprise at the sincerity in KID's body movements. "Do you mind explaining it to me?"

Shinichi stepped forward, and was pleased when KID tensed but didn't immediately leave. "You and me." KID tensed even more, and Shinichi assumed that he had struck a chord in the thief. "You can't seriously think I haven't noticed the hints you've been dropping."

"I haven't been dropping _any_ hints, Kudo." The change in appellation was surprising, but didn't deter Shinichi as much as KID hoped it would. "But what you're saying...is that a confession?"

"And if it is?" Shinichi was confident, KID had to give him that, and it was a well-known fact that KID loved confidence, but unfortunately for Shinichi, KID loved something else - _somebody_ else - more. "I'm not going to arrest you, if that's what you're thinking. We've been through too much for me to just send you to jail like that."

There was a beat of silence, in which KID collected his thoughts and Shinichi began to wonder if he was wrong after all, before KID finally answered. " _Meitantei._ " Shinichi snapped to attention, his previously wandering eyes locking onto KID's monocle. "I respect your feelings, but I can't return them."

It seemed as though Shinichi wasn't familiar with rejection, and KID could understand why, all things considered, but was still slightly amused at the shock adorning his face. "Wh- why not? I'm attracted to you, you're attracted to _me_ -"

"That's your first mistake." he silenced Shinichi by holding up a single finger. "You're attractive, _meitantei_ , I'll give you that. But for as much as I tease you, I'm not _attracted_ to you." A second finger raised. "Your _second_ mistake was believing that I would reciprocate your feelings, even if I _was_ attracted to you." That was accompanied by an uncharacteristically soft smile that would have made Shinichi's heart stutter slightly, if it hadn't been accompanied by KID's next words. "I've already entrusted my heart to somebody else, if you would like to know." A final finger joined the other two, in a hand gesture reminiscent of the _Hunger Games_ salute (a fact that permeated Shinichi's mind, oddly enough, and left a sick feeling in his stomach). "And the third..."

The clouds decided to part at that moment, and KID's monologue was interrupted by the now-present moonlight, reflecting off of the gold crown in his possession. He took a moment to hold it up, appreciating it for a moment before frowning. "Aah, and I was really hoping, too." His attention turned back to Shinichi momentarily, grinning that cocky KID grin of his once more. "I'll be keeping this for now, _meitantei,_ but it was good to have this conversation. It, ah, clears the air between us."

Instead of falling back, Shinichi was surprised when KID walked forward, and took a hesitant step back. After that rejection, he suddenly felt the need to be as far away from KID as possible. "W-wait," he muttered, sighing in relief when KID stopped and cocked an eyebrow at him. "What's the third reason?"

"Oh, that's easy." KID grinned widely. "You don't love me."

Before Shinichi could reply, a white figure was already striding past him, a hand placed on Shinichi's shoulder, and three words made the detective flinch and turn - but the thief was already gone.

" _You love KID._ "

With a shiver - from his own overreacting emotions or the sudden reminder of the wind chill on the rooftop, he wasn't sure - he swallowed thickly and made for the stairs, wanting to block the memories out of his head and try not to think about being gracefully rejected in a way that couldn't even make him hate KID. The door stayed open a crack, but Shinichi wasn't particularly concerned, and didn't notice anything aside from his own conflicted feelings.

Maybe he could take a break from heists, for a while.

* * *

Five minutes later, Shinichi found himself realizing that he had left Saguru behind and, with a hunch and a grumble, made his way back up the stairs towards the roof to retrieve the other detective. The door was still open, surprisingly enough, but a noise made him pause before opening it any further. A groan; so Saguru had awoken already. Perhaps he was resistant to the formula, or maybe previous exposure to a similar compound had raised his tolerance.

"Kaito...?" With a start, Shinichi realized that the other detective wasn't alone, and peered through the crack between the door and the wall. He had to shift slightly to find a good position, but the gap was at least large enough to see most of the outside - and maybe he regretted it. Perched in front of Saguru was a familiar figure; although the top hat and monocle were gone, KID's suit was impossible to not recognize. "I just had the oddest dream..."

"Kudo tranqed you," KID - Kaito? - explained, resting two fingers - " _I've already entrusted my heart to somebody else, if you would like to know,"_ \- against Saguru's neck before sighing in relief. "Steady pulse. Geez, how many times have you been knocked out so far?" The fingers pressed a bit rougher against his skin, and a weak hand reached up to swat it away with a grumble.

"Most of those 'times' have been your fault, if you remember correctly," Saguru nagged, although there was a fondness (and exhaustion) in his voice that crept through his words. "But I'm glad you care so much."

"You're an idiot. Of _course_ I care. I don't exactly want my _tantei-san_ killed, by toxic overdose or otherwise."

"Ah, speaking of..." Saguru trailed off, and Shinichi saw Kaito's gloved hand - the one that hadn't been smacked away - reach to brush a thumb across Saguru's cheek. Saguru nuzzled into the hand, and Shinichi felt that distinct sickness in the pit of his stomach return at full force. "Why did Kudo-kun knock me out? I doubt he just wanted to catch you by himself."

Kaito was silent for a moment - Shinichi swallowed back his bile as he realized that Kaito had absolutely no desire to talk about what had just happened - but finally answered. "He...confessed to me."

"Oh." A beat of silence between the two, and Shinichi almost wished that they would fill the silence if just so he could focus on something other than the cycle of jealousy and guilt gnawing at his insides. "And what did you tell him?"

Kaito chuckled slightly, no doubt to break the tension that Saguru had suddenly conjured up. "The truth. That I didn't like him, and that I was taken."

Saguru hummed slightly, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Kaito's shoulder. "I hope you were more courteous than that. You _do_ have a habit of being rather blunt with your words, Kuroba."

That earned a whine from Kaito, but Shinichi closed his eyes and ears, holding onto the fact that he finally knew KID's real name. Kuroba Kaito...it was a saving grace, for sure, even if would never go anywhere. It was a nice name. It was a friendly name.

(It was a name that did nothing to stop his pining over a taken criminal. Pathetic.)

"I thought you'd be over that by now, _Hakuba,_ " he vaguely heard Kaito say, and tuned back into the conversation just in time to see Kaito lift Saguru's head and press his own forehead against the detective's. "Anyways, you know, it's okay to admit you were worried."

"Worried about what?" Saguru scoffed lightly, but it was obvious he was still slightly groggy from the tranquilizer dart. "Losing you? Kudo-kun's got nothing on me."

"Mhm, I know." Kaito rubbed the back of Saguru's neck consolingly, as if he had to deal with this on a usual basis. Maybe he did, Shinichi had no idea. "You're smarter than Kudo, and stronger than Kudo..."

Shinichi almost left right there at Saguru's next words. "And I love you more than Kudo." If it was possible to resent Hakuba Saguru based on five words alone, Shinichi would be the one to find a way. "The world can have KID," Saguru murmured lazily. "The world can have KID, but Kaito's mine."

Shinichi watched with growing discomfort as the tips of Kaito's ears turned pink. "Kaito's yours, you idiot," he agreed, before pulling away from Saguru and standing up. "But right now, Kaito needs to get you home before you pass out again. Do you think you can walk?" Saguru made a motion that looked vaguely like attempting to stand up, but slumped after the pitiful attempt.

Instead of getting upset, Kaito just laughed and reached down, scooping Saguru up into his arms. In a single puff of smoke, a familiar crown was placed atop Saguru's head, and it looked more than ever like a princess carry. "Don't worry, Sagu, I've got you." It was disgusting, jealousy and hurt and anger roiling inside his stomach, all trying to compete for first place as Kaito held Saguru as if he were the love of his life.

(Because Shinichi couldn't yet admit to himself that he had lost KID to...well, to _Hakuba,_ of all people _._ )

He should have been the one holding Kaito like that, _he_ should have been the one promising to love him, _he should have been the one_ -

But he wasn't.

"You should get going too, _meitantei._ " Shinichi turned away from the door as Kaito stared at him directly through the crack, his piercing gaze doing nothing to calm the turmoil in Shinichi's heart. He didn't even bother hiding his presence anymore as he stepped away from the door, every single possible negative emotion gripping him as he heard the minute fluttering of a cape in the wind and a hang glider being engaged.

Even after KID - _Kaito_ \- and Saguru left, and the night air filled with silence, Shinichi knew that his heart wouldn't be. No matter how much he willed it to stop making him sick with emotions, or how much he wished he and Saguru had their roles reversed, or even how much he wished he could just stop caring.

(Sometimes, things didn't work out as perfectly as he hoped.)


End file.
